On Writing Letters...

"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain." ~ Jim Morrison

How many times have you ripped open a letter from a far away friend, only to be disappointed when you read the last line? Most letters consist of a few hastily scribbled sentences that tell you absolutely nothing about what’s going on in the writer’s life. When was the last time you wrote a letter from your heart? Maybe, it’s because you didn’t know how to start.

Drop the formal address you learned in grade school. Instead of “Dear Jane,” write “Hi Lady,” or what ever nickname you had for your friend. If you want to get her to laugh at the opening line, write something like, “Hey there wonder woman,” and if you want her to smile, “Hello, my dearest friend.” In other words, be yourself. It’s your personal greeting. Start your letter by asking how their life is going, not the boring, “How are you?” but something that lets them really know you are interested in their life.

By now, you should have two or three paragraphs. Let’s face it, you probably can’t wait to get into the “meat” of the letter. Meaning, people are vain and want to talk about themselves. That’s when you jot down a few things of mutual interest about what you’ve been doing. But, don’t go overboard, no one really wants to hear about your mundane teeth whitening appointment, or the growth behind your ear that’s been getting bigger for the last 10 years, good Lord! Your reader will certainly roll their eyes and shake their head, and maybe even wished you didn’t write in the first place (just kidding)!

The last paragraph should, if possible, remind the recipient of something the two of you have in common. This keeps the bond between you strong. Perhaps, you went to the same high school together. You might mention you ran into a mutual friend at the grocery store, or, have shared a camping experience together. You could tell them how much you have missed the good times you had together at your favorite hangout.

Finally, end your letter with a friendly phrase, making it more personal to the reader. After all, we are talking about personal letters. “I am so looking forward to hearing from you, Janie,” is much better than “Yours Truly.”

Stay with me, all this may sound a little corny, but I am trying to make a point…seriously!

Then, there’s the apology letter. They say 'to err is to human' and we are all humans. Therefore, it's normal for us to make mistakes and hurt someone's feelings knowingly or unknowingly. It might be something that we say, or something that we do, which hurts others. It could have been an incident from the past or one from the present.

Sometimes we do not feel bad, when we know that the person deserved it, but sometimes we feel really bad, when we realize that it's totally our fault that the other person was hurt by our behavior. We want to say sorry to that person, but although we can easily say sorry to some stranger, or to someone who does not mean that much to us, saying sorry to someone whom we really love and who means a lot to us, is the most difficult thing to do.

It made me reflect on all the things I said and wondered why I opened my mouth and inserted my foot so many times. It also made me realize what I lost and why I am guilty of holding grudges. I’ve seemed to do a lot of this recently. Apologize. To quote the wise words of someone I care very much for, “Without the “loss,” there could not be a “found.”

Those words explain why today, I truly have smiled and felt the warmth of the sun on my face. ~M