Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Ramblings from an unfocused mind...

“I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.”   ~George Carlin


Today, was the first day in a few months that the temperature and the high humidity were lower, and naturally, it was a great day to be outside working on my semi-neglected flowerbeds. When the steady temps reach and stay near one hundred degrees, I don’t know about most people, but I eventually lose some interest when it’s a necessity to work in the yard. No mater how diligent I am about watering, fertilizing, and deadheading faded blooms, by the end of the summer the heat gets the best of me. And, if it’s not the heat, it’s a combination of that and the pesky squirrels that have eaten or dug up my incessant efforts.

I wonder what’s the use after putting so much time and money into a hobby that doesn’t last the whole season. Oh, I know the answer, it’s because I love the simplistic beauty that flowers provide, and more than anything, it’s the domino effect that thrills me. Plant flowers and they bring of course the bumblebees, but it’s really the brilliantly colored butterflies and the Ruby Throated Hummingbirds I patiently wait to visit.

I went out to pull weeds in the garden furthest from the house and mumbled more than a few four-letter words under my breath when I saw how those rotten little buggers (squirrels) gnawed what I thought were fairly sturdy plastic pots. When taking the baskets to the garbage containers, I happened to notice how full and luscious my neighbor’s roses were. This is not one of those cases where something actually looks better on the other side of the fence, because I can actually say those roses bushes were indeed stunning!

If you’ve followed my blogs long enough, you’ll know how one thought triggers another and then I’m off on a totally unrelated subject. Today is not any different. I mentioned before that I hum a lot when I do any tedious task, so, here I am looking at my neighbor’s roses lining her clear sparkling pool, and I recall the volcanic performance Bette Milder gave when she belted out The Rose, from the final scene of the movie by the same name. I loved that movie, but if you ask my husband his thoughts about it, he’ll shake his head, roll his eyes and say, “Don’t ask.”

When it first came out, I saw it twice at the theatre and once at the drive in. I know it drove my husband insane, but gracious as he was, he tagged along. The movie was based loosely on the life of Janis Joplin, who in the late 60’s (in my estimation) was the one female vocalist who could make you feel her pain and frustration about love, being in love, being afraid to love, making love or being jilted by a lover.

The emotional honesty about her music was what moved me. It’s also the kind of thinking that can get a girl mixed up in the emotional complexities of growing up too fast and making bad decisions about herself and her liberating libido. I believe Janis was a legitimately great blues singer with correspondingly huge personal issues that interfered with her music and ended her life. Unfortunately, for her and many other musicians who left this world before their time, drugs became a religious experiment and a movement of freedom.

All this makes me speculate about the world we live in now with billboards plastered along well traveled roads telling our young people, and reminding an absentminded parent to tell their children…just say no to smoking, drugs, and sex. I don’t remember anyone promoting, just be yourself…stand up to bullies…just say no to anything that doesn’t feel right when I was young. I wonder if the musicians of yesteryear would be with us now if there were campaigns telling them it’s all right to have insecurities. Probably not.

I can honestly say, “I’m glad I’m not grading this blog!” Writing is a skill, like any other and I seem to forget that when I write this blog. The main thing is to stay focused. For serious writing I do, but when I blog it is more an extension of self.  A college English professor once told our class, "Many people don’t remain focused who have had bad experiences with terrible and mean teachers growing up, and with people for when writing is their means of expression."  In my case, it was both. On this act of contrition, I refrain from any further conjecture tonight.


The Rose
By Amanda McBroom


Some say love it is a river
  That drowns the tender reed  
Some say love it is a razor
      That leaves your soul to bleed      

Some say love it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
And you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love
In the spring
Becomes the rose

3 comments:

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sally said...

Although I am not good at reading things in a timely manner I too love "The Rose". It hits something in me that I didn't know was there. I understand the flower thing too. I love watching, then one day everything seems to just blossom out and life if beautiful. Unfocused is my middle name but in my own way I am the most focused person I know. Its all in the view you take.

Monica said...

Thanks, Sally...It's good to hear from you. I always love to hear another woman's view. It seems no matter where we come from, rich or poor, or what our education and social status is, women in general have many of the same thoughts about love and life.