Confession reposted from FaceBook...

Little White Lies…

I signed up. I committed myself to make a difference… Today will be the first day; I will take the first steps. Yes, I CAN DO IT! Noon…I simply can’t wait to go…2:30…uh, oh I feel excuses coming on, maybe I will….4:15…Nah, I’m not sure if I will….5:45…Nope, I don’t think I am…6:15…Fifteen minutes to go…6:30…I am not going…8:30…Damn, I don’t know why I didn’t come…

Pee Wee Herman said it best in his movie, Pee Wee’s Big Adventures, “Everyone’s got a big but.” Not a big rear end, but the big excuse! BUT…the real reason we make up little white lies is to cover up the “buts”…We want to, but on second thought, we don’t really want to. We start to sense the makings of an internal tug of war. We commit ourselves to doing something we’ve wanted to do and as the clock ticks, hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute, and lastly second by second we begin to make excuses because…

· But…I might not be good enough
· But…I might embarrass myself
· But…Nobody wants to hear what I have to say
· But…I will not make a difference
· But…I can’t make a difference
· But…I will be laughed at

Then, I think of the malevolent instructor who is only a shell of what she was when she first entered college. Where did all her desires go as she sits on the edge of her desk crossing her legs, frowning when she sees the new scuff on her black patent stilettos? She wonders, when will this class ever end? Every time she called up time on her internal clock and read it in the corner of her cornea, it was only a minute later when she last had to evoke it. I watched her obsess over the scuff instead of the aspiring minds that sat before her, until I could no longer stand the shallowness she displayed…I walked out and thought to myself…

· I will not forget who I am
· I will encourage others
· I will use the gifts I have received
· I will pass on the love that has been given to me
· I will let this knowledge settle within my bones
· I will allow my soul the freedom to sing, dance and praise others

I will do these things without pretense. No ifs, ands or BUTS…