Dog and Pony Show...

Dog & Pony Show…

Thank you, guys! I think I finally understand the whole concept. The idiom meaning of an elaborate presentation orchestrated to gain approval. In this particular case, a convoluted attempt to sell me on working for their company. Wine me, dine me and court me with a glitzy presentation. Suck in your stomachs and hold your breath, persuade me with no real information or content and perhaps this anxious job-seeking indigent will avoid the bottom line and not say, “Show me the money!”

I went to my not so typical standard dog and pony interview. I listened to them trying to sell me on the advantage of starting on the ground floor of their company’s new division. In between the rhetoric, like reading between the lines, my interpretation translates like this…I would need to curry favor to even be considered to climb the corporate ladder.

Imagine, little ole me, in session with the Knights of the Round Table; I sat poised and erect, while they searched for the best vein to insert the needle of inquisition Then the onslaught of prepared but not original questions began:

1. What is the most important; safety, quality or production?
2. Do you want to climb the ladder?
3. Are you a team player?
4. Can you keep the ball rolling?
5. Can you meet deadlines?
6. Can you handle stress when it comes down to the wire?
7. Can you tighten your belt?
8. Can you work out kinks?
9. Can you pull your weight?
10. Where so you want to be 10 years from now?

This is my interpretation with a slice of imagination:

1. Yes, this is a trick question; the answer is the same as the question. (1) No company wants OSHA on their butts. Period. (2) Quality says that the company emulates perfection. Duh? (3) Production is a number’s games, no production, and then the ump calls the play, “You’re Out!”
2. Doesn’t everyone want to advance their careers through promotions while collecting brownie points?
3. A committed employee (brown noser) who works well with others on the clock then disses you in public.
4. Ensure them that a project is progressing effectively and on time or you can keep rolling with the ball.
5. Meeting the time allotted for a particular project, before you fall dead on the finish line.
6. Stress? What’s a little stress? I knew I had one nerve left before I started this job!
7. Reduce operating expenses when the cash cow dies.
8. Improve a flawed product or service or they may pull the plug on you.
9. Share the workload and help others carry the dead cow away.
10. Is it a crime I hope to be in a happy place and not working 10 years from now? After all, I will almost be at my full retirement age.

Did I get the job you ask? Will I be age or sexually discriminated against? Am I over or under qualified for the position? I’ll never tell because I am still waiting for the answer to my question…”Please, won’t you show me the money?”