Constipation...

Constipation…A condition in which the emptying of waste matter is infrequent and difficult.

Day after day you keep the internal gases building before you can’t take anymore and just BLOW! You know you have this condition when you look at yourself in the mirror and see only a shell of what you could be. Then the light goes on, and you realize you are exhibiting the symptoms of an acute case of opticalrectitis; the condition when your optical nerve is connected to your ass and thus, produces a shitty outlook.

I have to confess I have been constipated for almost my entire life, dating back to when children need to be seen not heard, always remaining prim and proper. If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all. I turned the other cheek and the sticks and stones and names did hurt me. I’ve listened to monotonous stories over and over about things I’m not interested in then politely smile while my ears bleed.
We learned to keep our mouths shut to avoid an argument; after all it’s their word or no word. No compromise. Don’t make waves. Don’t grow in education or socially or else he’ll think you’re trying to be better than he is. You knew who he was when you got married and don’t expect him to change. Please put the toilet seat down. Please, honey this. Please, honey that…

It doesn’t matter what walks of life you are from, rich, poor or somewhere in between; just know ladies, we are all bitches and our men will agree we don’t give them any rest. As bitches, we will not forget every little thing that a man, and as matter of fact, anyone else has done to us. We will not forget every sweet word and definitely not every hateful word said to, or about us. The lethal combinations of words and actions begin the gases to build over a period of time. We feel it churning and wrenching our stomachs till we are so bloated we release it by spewing harmful rhetoric…then wish we remained constipated…and then, the cycle begins again…Smile!